CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize