On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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