i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
