I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
