Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
