Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
