Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
PANTIES FOUND
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
