brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
