I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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