does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
