I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
