i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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