i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
