batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
