I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
