careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
