You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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