Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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