i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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