My liver just broke up with me...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
