I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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