I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
