so explain again why im purple
no
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
