I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
