She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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