I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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