It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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