____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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