If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
