The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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