so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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