Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
