I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
