I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
