sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also, beer. Big fan.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
