She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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