Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
