its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
