Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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