I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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