I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
