i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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