Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We left an ass print on the piano.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
