Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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