once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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