we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
