We got so high we made milksteak
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
foreskin is a definite game changer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
