1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You ate ashes out of my bong
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
