Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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