we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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