We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
