Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
