when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
