Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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