she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They have beer where we have blood.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
