He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My breasts were aching with rage.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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