That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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