you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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