maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
