if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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