Banned from zoo.
Again?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
