kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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