My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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